Lucy, You Got Some ‘Splaining to Do

“I’m not funny. What I am is brave.”-Lucille Ball

**Special thanks to Adam at TheChowderHead.com for the sexy-ass banner design. I don’t know how he did it, but he captured my personality perfectly. You can see every aspect of my life and desires in that banner. How he did so without us meeting face to face, I’ll never know. Sure, he’s a funny one, but I’m beginning to see he’s a dude with depth.

So yeah, about giving up the blog thing, I lied. I don’t know if it was indeed a lie. I think I was just, tired. And pretty fucking uninspired. 

I found my ‘fire’ as my brother in arms, Rory puts it, at The Bus Stop.

And from a little book by John Green titled, “Looking for Alaska.” As I was reading the inner monologue of the main character Pudge, I realized that though the verbiage was simple, the story was complex. I came to the realization that even I could write a book like this. Hell I’ve written stories like it, why not go for it all??!! But that’s when the fear comes in. That tickle of doubt that slides across your heart. Making it cold, and thrum against your ribs. Then the voices begin. You know the ones. Those that have told you your whole life that you’re not good enough.

You must understand that I’m terribly afraid that once I get started writing a book, I won’t stop. That I will forget to eat, sleep, bathe, or even breathe….. I do tend to get a tad, shall we say, passionate. I have a day job. I gotta work, because I’m taking care of myself now. I’m all I’ve got.

My erotic writing will continue under a pen name. No, I won’t tell you what it is. If you find her and read her work, I don’t want you to know it’s me. I need the freedom to write as I wish. My muse is wild, free, and very sexual. Yet broken. Even more broken than I will ever admit on my Rendezvous page.

Romance belongs here. Stories of inspiration belong here. Flash fiction too. Observational stories about fellow humans belong here. Comedy, sarcasm and the word fuck belong here. With romance, comes depictions of want. I’m good with that, because I’m no one trick pony when it comes to writing. I believe all stories, no matter the genre are about that word-want.

I’m a word whore, and this is what I was born to do. It’s who I am. It’s time for this word whore to make a plan. To quit flying by the seat of her pants. Time for me to write my Looking for Alaska.

Love,

A silly and hopeful, and ultimately brave Rendezvous Girl

People Say I’m Crazy

Watching The Wheels

John Lennon

People say I’m Crazy doing what I’m doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I’m o.k. they look at me kind of strange
Surely you’re not happy now you no longer play the game

People say I’m lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I’m doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don’t you miss the big time boy you’re no longer on the ball?

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels fo round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

People asking questions lost in confusion
Well I tell them there’s no problem, only solutions
Well they shake their heads and look at me as if I’ve lost my mind
I tell them there’s no hurry…
I’m just sitting here doing time

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels fo round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

Heard this on Pandora this morning and thought for sure that I had to post it. I realized how much I identified with the lyrics. I mean people tell me I’m crazy, all the time. I’m not, I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round. I kinda like that I’m not on that merry go round of trying to please everyone and get validation from those that won’t ever give it to me. I have love, I have life, I have music and I have my words. It’s nice to realize that I finally have it all. Writing may make me dream my life away, but I don’t think there’d be a better way to go.

Thanks for loving me and my words my sweet readers, and followers. I know that the photo of John is not a popular one. But he had an incredible sense of humor and so do I. So you get a photo of John sticking out his tongue and the acoustic version of Watching the Wheels. I don’t know if you’ve figured this out yet, but I’m not a typical woman so why would I post the popular? I wouldn’t. That’s what makes me, me. Enjoy.