Chaotic Thoughts and the Newly Sober Woman

I’m sitting at the laundromat and all of the machines are whirring, grinding and spinning while I sit in a molded plastic chair smiling like a goof. My brain is happy with all the chaos and noise. No one is speaking to me or even looking my way as I write. I can’t hear my heart beat in my ears, or the white noise static that is a constant in my brain.

I finally wipe the grin off my face and look up to see two little girls helping their dad use the large capacity spin machine. Dad must own a laundry business, because he’s washing tons of clothing that most assuredly don’t belong to him. Women’s clothes, large colorful blankets and more than one load of whites made sparkling by bleach. The kids voices and laughter mix with the other chaotic sounds and my brain becomes even more at peace.

I spy from the corner of my eye a man taking photos of the high capacity washers he’s using. I find it odd, but then rationalize what the hell difference should it make to me why he’s doing it? My hope is that he’s sending the photo to his girlfriend to prove to her what a good guy he is. He’s doing the laundry while she’s at work or something. Who knows, right?

The girls are using the large capacity spin machine thingy again and it’s super loud. It makes me smile my goofy grin again and I wonder if anyone is watching me. Probably not. We’re all here doing the same thing, but that’s the only parallel to our lives.

I’m just going to sit here and enjoy my quiet mind and heart for the time being. While the machines whir, grind and spin…

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