I stand in the garden of stone at the south end of our estate, home to the ancestors that came before. An array of gray monuments stand tall around me, stained by years of harsh winters; baked by summer sun.
The air contains the tang of autumn, and the ground beneath me is freshly turned. The heels of my shoes sink into the earth as I remember your struggle to stay alive.
You said you’d fight, and you did. You said you’d beat it, but you didn’t.
My task now is to grieve, and find a way to carry on.
Genre: Romantic Tragedy (?)
Word count: 100!!!!
Thank you Ms. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this wonderful photo prompt called Friday Fictioneers. I just love when a story rolls out of my head in a matter of minutes. Not sure if you’ll like it, but at least I tried.
Please go to Ms. Wisoff-Fields page to read the multitude of other flash fiction posted by her and other WordPress writers.
A poignant and reflective tale. Nicely done.
Thank you so much for reading and your kind comment.
Beautifully done, Renee…
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Thank you for your kind critique. I do appreciate it.
Holy Cow!!! Renee Heath back writing at FridayFictioneers! Nice drabble, a perfect 100 (I counted to make sure).
Sometimes the photos move me Ted and I have to join in. This story came to me at 3:15 this afternoon and took me all of 20 minutes to write. Sometimes they come quickly, and sometimes slowly. I’m thankful that this one came at all.
And I know there were 100 words because I counted too. Lol
Those are the best stories, Renee.
They really are!
Go Renee, it was very spontaneous, and so with the ‘house’ 😀
Thanks Mark. It felt good to write it.
Dear Renee,
“You said you’d fight, and you did. You said you’d beat it, but you didn’t.” This line goes right for the heart. A whole story in two sentences. Straightforward and touching Well done. So glad you were inspired by the photo.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle,
Those two sentences came to me first and inspired the whole piece. I’m honored by your positive critique.
Thank you,
Renee
May she find solace in the memories gone by and move on. life has to move on. A poignant story of romance and grief very well penned.
https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2018/03/the-villa.html
Thank you so much for the kind critique, it means a lot.
I loved the flow of your entry. I could see it all unfolding through the eyes of the little one. Lovely.
Great writing, a touching story. Finding a way to carry on can be the hardest part of all.
Thank you so much for your kind critique. The story came so quickly and felt good to write
How sad and yet I feel hopeful she will recover and live on.
I believe she will too but it will take time.
Well done, Renee! I agree with Rochelle about the sentences at the heart of your story. I also love your conclusion ‘My task now is to grieve, and find a way to carry on.’
Thank you. Those two sentences were the basis of the entire story. I appreciate your kind comment.
The melancholy in the soil is a perfect illustration to your story.
Why thank you Bjorn. That’s high praise coming from you.
Lovely – and if this isn’t written from personal experience, it read as if it is.
It is not but I’m glad it read that way. Thank you for the kind critique.