I attended a training session on how to make myself marketable for a new job venture at the university that I’ve worked at for the last 25 years. Basically, the ‘instructor’ wanted me to market myself as a product. Like a gym shoe made by Nike. A car for Motor Company. Or a new formula type of soda made by Coca Cola. I was shocked. Here I am, a human, being told to liken myself to an object. As you all know, that’s not me. I am very flawed individual. I’ve shared that fact with all of you on many, many occasions.
One of the things they told us to do was change our privacy settings on Facebook. Basically hide who and what we really are. In my mind, I stomped my feet like the insolent child I am, and adamantly opposed doing so. It didn’t matter that no one in the room knew of my rebellion. I did, and that was all that mattered. I’m an author, and I have to write. I want my words read. And felt. And shared. So the setting stayed public.
At our break, I met a fellow employee that I had corresponded with over email and the phone. We hugged and laughed. And talked way too loud. We were then shushed by the ‘instructor’. I nearly lost my ever loving mind. I wanted to say ‘fuck you’, I’m talking to a human being and I don’t have to take your shit. My colleague and I stared at each other in disbelief. She shrugged her shoulders. Everything was changing around us. How we ‘marketed’ ourselves. Our jobs. Our lives. Even the interview process was going to be sterilized for us.
In retaliation to the shushing, I hugged my colleague again. Once seated, I jokingly told the ‘instructor’ we were colleagues that had never met. She looked at me coolly and said, ‘isn’t that nice.’ No smile. No warmth. Barely an acknowledgement that we were all going through incredible changes. She was a consultant and clearly didn’t give a shit. All she was focused on was getting through the workbook that we were working on.
I sat through the rest of the ‘workshop’. At the end, I silently left the conference room. Never looked up at the ‘instructor. I just kept my head down and walked out. And vowed that I would not attend another ‘class’. I did jump through the hoops of the resume and interview process. I waited patiently to find out if I’d been promoted. I guess 25 years of experience and supervising employees for 15 years results in a lateral move. I wouldn’t be supervising anyone. I couldn’t believe it! After a week of knowing my fate, I’m still struggling with the decision they made.
Now, I’m on extended sick leave until at least the middle of June. A major car accident and lengthy recovery reminded me that impulsiveness is a very, very bad thing. I know I have a job when I return. I’ll be back at my beloved faculty and staff at the SSW. For how long, I’m unsure. I’ve rediscovered yet again, that change is the only constant in our lives.
If I have to move to a new location that’s fine. It’s closer to where I live. I’ll walk to work. I can’t wait to see my colleague from the ‘workshop’ we attended. I’ll give her tons of hugs, and talk too loud. You see, these folks at my new place of employment have no idea what they’re in for when I finally settle in. No idea at all. I’m a leader, not a follower. I have big plans, and they don’t include sitting in a cubicle till I retire. I’ll do it, for the pay.
But my heart, ah yes, my heart, it will be living for another place altogether. It will be in the country on a blanket spread out in the backyard. French Bulldog lying in my lap. Pen and notebook in my hand. Flowers in my hair. And dirty bare feet. Yep, that’s where my heart will be….
I love that beautiful wild heart of yours… I am so glad to know you!
xox
I love your heart also. I’m honored to know you. I love ya darlin’.
xoxoxo
The Man can stifle our Facebook, but he has nothing for our souls! Rock on, sister.
Well, hello there stranger. Damn the man, I say. Damn the man.
Love, Renee
What to say, well you are amazing you have your blog and you can be yourself here and don’t need to pretend to be someone else, unless that is what you want to do which might be fun come to think of it blog as someone else,I wonder if I could do that pretend to be someone else on my own blog………….ok off topic here for a moment sorry about that got caught up on the thought. What was I going to say, I really don’t remember so I am going to leave now because I have no idea what I was going to say
Isn’t that why your blog is called joannerambling? Giggle, snort. I like that you ramble. Honey, I assure you, I’m very real here. My name is Renee Heath. I’m a mess and I’m fine with that. You are amazing too. You are. Don’t forget that. I’m so glad you came by and left such a great comment. Thanks sweetheart.
Love, Renee
Be the change you would like to see in the world….wild child 🙂
Amen my dear Mark. Amen.
Love, Renee
Renee I love this. And hate how the world is set on sterilizing our hearts. Shush you? Oh hells no! Be bold, bright and beautiful. I too do my job for the money. And I will join you in the country for the afternoon. We’ll have a picnic and talk way too loudly and laugh heartily. Then write into the wee hours of dawn. Dana
My dear Dana,
I would be glad to share my blanket with you. Stop on by. I’m sure my little Frenchy Lucy will be sure to sidle up close to you. We’ll write and write and write. Till our pens run out of ink and we lose daylight.
Love, Renee
Sounds like heaven.
Seems to me the “instructor” had a bit of a stick up her arse.
She most certainly did. Ah well, such is life. Not everyone can be as fabulous as me! Lol
Love, Renee
True, but the least they could do is try! 😉