“I’m not funny. What I am is brave.”-Lucille Ball
**Special thanks to Adam at TheChowderHead.com for the sexy-ass banner design. I don’t know how he did it, but he captured my personality perfectly. You can see every aspect of my life and desires in that banner. How he did so without us meeting face to face, I’ll never know. Sure, he’s a funny one, but I’m beginning to see he’s a dude with depth.
So yeah, about giving up the blog thing, I lied. I don’t know if it was indeed a lie. I think I was just, tired. And pretty fucking uninspired.
I found my ‘fire’ as my brother in arms, Rory puts it, at The Bus Stop.
And from a little book by John Green titled, “Looking for Alaska.” As I was reading the inner monologue of the main character Pudge, I realized that though the verbiage was simple, the story was complex. I came to the realization that even I could write a book like this. Hell I’ve written stories like it, why not go for it all??!! But that’s when the fear comes in. That tickle of doubt that slides across your heart. Making it cold, and thrum against your ribs. Then the voices begin. You know the ones. Those that have told you your whole life that you’re not good enough.
You must understand that I’m terribly afraid that once I get started writing a book, I won’t stop. That I will forget to eat, sleep, bathe, or even breathe….. I do tend to get a tad, shall we say, passionate. I have a day job. I gotta work, because I’m taking care of myself now. I’m all I’ve got.
My erotic writing will continue under a pen name. No, I won’t tell you what it is. If you find her and read her work, I don’t want you to know it’s me. I need the freedom to write as I wish. My muse is wild, free, and very sexual. Yet broken. Even more broken than I will ever admit on my Rendezvous page.
Romance belongs here. Stories of inspiration belong here. Flash fiction too. Observational stories about fellow humans belong here. Comedy, sarcasm and the word fuck belong here. With romance, comes depictions of want. I’m good with that, because I’m no one trick pony when it comes to writing. I believe all stories, no matter the genre are about that word-want.
I’m a word whore, and this is what I was born to do. It’s who I am. It’s time for this word whore to make a plan. To quit flying by the seat of her pants. Time for me to write my Looking for Alaska.
A silly and hopeful, and ultimately brave Rendezvous Girl
Do what you need to do, pen name, mystery persona, as long as you write. So proud of you for not letting the doubt and fear stop you completely. ( love the banner, too).
Thank you my sweet woman. I’ll write as both women. Because I am both of them. I figure if I’m only two women, I’m doing okay.
I think as long as it is haut writing, you can be many. Don’t have limit yourself in word. 😉
I sure don’t plan on it. Giggle.
Hope you are feeling better! Let the imagination flow!
Yay! 1000x Yay! So glad you are letting yourself do whatever you like. Brave like a fox!
Gee whiz, thanks! That was pretty swell of you. The page looks great and glad to see that you’re back at it. A writer never dies \m/
Gee whiz? That’s all you’ve got? Bring it on my sexy beast. You’re an amazing dude. How lucky I am to know and admire you. May our words never die my dear man.
No I really appreciate it – it was a nice thing to say. Too nice, maybe? Right back at ya, and one of these days we’ll do a water toast or something. Cranberry juice maybe 😉
Cranberry juice and Miralax is my drink of choice these days. I’ll buy you a beer, k?
Yes, yes I’ll take a beer! Hold the miralax.
I am so happy for you. Life is meant to be lived and savored. Every blessed word of it. And you are wise and brave. Because you have embraced all of yourself and are letting every piece be free and find a voice. Charge ever forward into the light and may your words fill the world.
Oh Loneyheart thank you for your kind words you’re a doll. Hope you are well. Much love, hugs and positive vibes.
Lie what lie? You were simply mistaken. Walking away was never an option. I’d miss you too much. 😉 You write Looking for Alaska. I’ll write An Abundance of Katherine’s and then we can both have The Fault of Our Stars put on the silver screen.
You’re right, I didn’t lie at all. Giggle Let’s write the great American novels that will take the world by storm. I do believe we could. I do, I do, I do.
I’m game! Renee. When do we start? How about after lunch. 😉