I don’t like people who have never fallen or stumbled.
Their virtue is lifeless and it isn’t of much value.
Life hasn’t revealed its beauty to them.
I know I haven’t written anything lately. I haven’t stuck to my format either. Life is crazy, crazy, crazy. So here’s a quote for Thursday. I promise that I’m writing a story for Friday Fictioneers. It’s a sad one, because that’s what I write best.
Sometimes words dry up, or I stop giving a shit. Or the family I’ve been trying to keep together for 24 years finally falls apart because of me. I would rather beg for forgiveness of my children than write a journal entry or post a Tunesday entry.
Maybe I’m trying to stay sober and need to write out my fourth step. That’s more important than writing about romance. I love the written word, but ‘writer’ is only one of the many names I bear. Today I’d rather be a mother, daughter, friend, employee, etc.
I’d like to hide, but I won’t. I’d like to go running, but I’m out of shape.
I’m not asking for pats on the back or kind words. I don’t want to be told it will be all right, because it won’t.
Tonight, I’ll drive home while music blares on the radio. I’ll be chair dancing and singing along. When I arrive, there will be dogs barking and warm kisses from Wonder Schnauzers and Baxter my grand dog. Roger Darling will be there with a cup of coffee and conversation. Dinner will commence and dishes will be done. I might pack a few of my things up before I head to bed.
During the night after I head to the bathroom for the third time, I’ll snuggle back down in bed and listen to the silence. I’ll pray that the next time I fall, I don’t take my whole family down with me.
I’ll try honey. You do the same.
I am … having a date with lemon curd ice-cream
It doesn’t seem like it now, but eventually that light at the end of the tunnel really is daylight instead of another oncoming train…it just takes a while…
Thanks sweetie. I know it’ll be okay. I just hate being the cause of my family’s pain. xoxoxoxoxox
You are in my prayers. Falling can hurt a lot. I pray you gain the strength to get up and moving forward, as difficult as it is sometimes.
Thanks love. I do appreciate your kind words. Life is getting better and I’m getting stronger.