Friday Fictioneers-Whisperer


“Annie looked into his eyes with their blood-crazed whites and for the first time in her life knew how one might come to believe in the devil.”
Nicholas Evans, The Horse Whisperer

Genre: general fiction


Melissa ambled toward the mare. Star instantly agitated, flared her nostrils and exhaled gruffly. She was not deterred in her task.  With hose placed in the trough, water spluttered from the end. Melissa advanced toward Star with purpose. She saw fear in her eyes, but didn’t falter. Star whinnied violently.

Melissa cooed, “hush beautiful girl.”

The animal reared up. Melissa, her hand out, connected with warm flesh. Star staggered and landed on all fours. Then leaned in and nuzzled Melissa’s neck.

“Good girl,” she sighed as she caressed her mane. ” It’s okay.”

The horse’s eyes softened and her body relaxed.

100 words

This was a tricky one for me Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and Doug McIlroy. I hope I did the prompt justice. We’ll see.

54 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers-Whisperer

    • Thank you. Don’t know much about horses. I’m a dog groomer and my friends call me the dog whisperer. I can calm any puppy down. I figured I could calm a horse down too. Well…Maybe. 🙂

  1. typos in my earlier comments sorry ! The way you written the story, makes it come alive, as if though it was happening before me! great take on the prompt 🙂

  2. Dear Renee,
    Melissa is very good at her job. I like that you let us see her apprehension. I’m sure in truth it would take longer to calm the horse but then maybe she’s that good. I know enough about horses to fill half a thimble. 😉 Well done with the confines of a hundred words.

    • Dear Rochelle,
      It was difficult to come up with a story for the prompt. I wanted to convey that Melissa had been working with the horse prior to the day the story took place. Unfortunately with only 100 words that was a difficult task. Thanks for your comment.

  3. Well, I wish I could meet Melissa if she has those kind of ways! Only joking, but it is so intriguing, to be able to communicate like that, and reading you can with puppies. Well done,enjoyed! Particularly well-written actually.

    • Thank you my dear Pirate. I can’t say that the outcome with dogs has always been good. I’ve been bitten a time or two. It doesn’t mean I give up completely on the species though. Just like Melissa, I’ll keep whispering to calm and soothe them. Because in return they calm and soothe me.

  4. I like your idea but Rochelle’s right, the time frame is difficult to work into 100 words. Even people who “whisper” horses generally take more time than this. But hey, this IS fiction, isn’t it? 🙂 Good job.


    • Yes my dear it is fiction. And here we can do whatever we want. As I told Rochelle though, I wanted to convey that Melissa had worked with Star before. It’s hard to do so in only 100 words. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s