“Annie looked into his eyes with their blood-crazed whites and for the first time in her life knew how one might come to believe in the devil.”
― Nicholas Evans, The Horse Whisperer
Genre: general fiction
Whisperer
Melissa ambled toward the mare. Star instantly agitated, flared her nostrils and exhaled gruffly. She was not deterred in her task. With hose placed in the trough, water spluttered from the end. Melissa advanced toward Star with purpose. She saw fear in her eyes, but didn’t falter. Star whinnied violently.
Melissa cooed, “hush beautiful girl.”
The animal reared up. Melissa, her hand out, connected with warm flesh. Star staggered and landed on all fours. Then leaned in and nuzzled Melissa’s neck.
“Good girl,” she sighed as she caressed her mane. ” It’s okay.”
The horse’s eyes softened and her body relaxed.
100 words
This was a tricky one for me Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and Doug McIlroy. I hope I did the prompt justice. We’ll see.
I love the relationship you have built between the 2
Thanks honey. I’m glad you liked it.
A horse whisperer huh? Nice idea. 🙂
Thank you. Don’t know much about horses. I’m a dog groomer and my friends call me the dog whisperer. I can calm any puppy down. I figured I could calm a horse down too. Well…Maybe. 🙂
A touching story.
Thanks my sweet.
interesting how the horse begins to trust Melissa. nice story
Maybe she’s known pain just like the horse has.
It may have been tricky, but you pulled it off wonderfully!
I could live the entire scene.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/friday-fictioneers-march-22-2013-genre-humorous/
Thank you kind sir. I appreciate your comment.
There goes that “kind sir” thing again.
It isn’t often such a beautiful woman says that to me.
🙂
I may not always be a lady. Especially when I’m spewing the F word. But I do my best to be polite when someone compliments my work. So thank you. 🙂
I have been known to throw expletives myself, yes, even the F bomb. I am polite when I should be and when I need to be. I understand.
I’m polite when I need to be also, but…. I’m more than happy to act like a total doofus to make people laugh. I’m versatile that way. 🙂
🙂
Very descriptive. Nicely done.
Thank you so much. I’m glad you liked it.
Very well done – it took me right back to when I was reading Horse Whisperer.
That was kind of the plan. I wanted to do something different than romance this week.
Nicely done – a moment of mutual understanding nicely portrayed.
Thank you Sandra. It’s not my best, but I don’t think it’s my worst.
The way you write this made the entire seen come alive ! enjoyed it
typos in my earlier comments sorry ! The way you written the story, makes it come alive, as if though it was happening before me! great take on the prompt 🙂
Thank you so much for the kind comment. I do appreciate it.
Dear Renee,
Melissa is very good at her job. I like that you let us see her apprehension. I’m sure in truth it would take longer to calm the horse but then maybe she’s that good. I know enough about horses to fill half a thimble. 😉 Well done with the confines of a hundred words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle,
It was difficult to come up with a story for the prompt. I wanted to convey that Melissa had been working with the horse prior to the day the story took place. Unfortunately with only 100 words that was a difficult task. Thanks for your comment.
Fondly,
Renee
you did fine with the prompt and i loved the outcome.
Thanks Charles. I appreciate your kind comment.
Well, I wish I could meet Melissa if she has those kind of ways! Only joking, but it is so intriguing, to be able to communicate like that, and reading you can with puppies. Well done,enjoyed! Particularly well-written actually.
Thank you my dear Pirate. I can’t say that the outcome with dogs has always been good. I’ve been bitten a time or two. It doesn’t mean I give up completely on the species though. Just like Melissa, I’ll keep whispering to calm and soothe them. Because in return they calm and soothe me.
I like your idea but Rochelle’s right, the time frame is difficult to work into 100 words. Even people who “whisper” horses generally take more time than this. But hey, this IS fiction, isn’t it? 🙂 Good job.
janet
Yes my dear it is fiction. And here we can do whatever we want. As I told Rochelle though, I wanted to convey that Melissa had worked with Star before. It’s hard to do so in only 100 words. 🙂
I can’t say I wouldn’t be intimidated by such a large, upset animal. Some people have a gift!
Denmother
It was merely a story. Maybe she’d been working with Star for awhile.
Oh yes, it wasn’t a critique. More an admiration of her confidence and ability.
Oh dear I know. Wink, wink. Thank you.
sometimes all you need it a simple touch. Be it a horse, a child, an adult…a lot can be conveyed through a touch 🙂
Yes, a gentle touch and a calm spirit are that are needed sometimes.
Trust is so important in a relationship with an animal–good story.
Thank you my dear. You’re right, trust is the main thing. In any relationship.
I(t is obviously not Melissa’s first time with an uncooperative horse. She knows to remain calm and transfer her being to the horse.
Yeah, I think she’s dealt with Star before. Or others like her.
You did.
Thank you Ted. In those two words, you made me extremely happy.
Great one, and Melissa seems to be able to handle even difficult horses like Star.
Thank you Bjorn. I think she’d worked with Star for awhile before the incident I wrote about. 🙂
Aaaahhh …a whisperer..and then after I wrote that I thought to look at the title. You can call me duh.
I would never tell you duh. 😉 But yes, a whisperer.
❤
I hate when they get those crazy eyes….
You can see right to their crazy souls.
their eyes are so gentle and knowing, as if they know your heart, and then they get all goo-goo eyed.
I think some like to be afraid.
Very nice.
Thanks so much. 😉