She Asked Me, Do I Deserve to be This Happy?


Do I deserve to be this happy?

That’s what Ella asked me, via Facebook chat. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack her in the head. Let’s see, you were married for 20 years to a guy that was basically a child living in an adult’s body. You became a control freak trying to keep everyone’s shit together. If you didn’t, your family would have fallen apart. You always thought of yourself last. When you finally decided it was your turn, everything fell into place. In a haphazard way. You realized that life didn’t need to be the way it had been for 20 years. You transformed your body, mind, and life. Even as you changed, your children were at the forefront of your plans. They were number one.

At my urging you tried online dating. You asked my advice. Dude, I’ve been married for almost 24 years, I don’ t know shit! I helped you though. I held your hand. Listened to the stories of the hazards of dating. Wiped your tears. We laughed at the sheer stupidity of some men. We realized even at our age that dating sucks!

I went with you the day your divorce was finalized. Holy shit, that was an eye opener! I’ve never been through anything so heart-wrenching in my life. It was a kind of death. The sad part was the person is still alive. Still of this earth. At least with death, you can grieve the loss. With divorce, you have to see that person again. It’s like ripping off a band-aid, every single fucking time you have to get your kids. Death is final. D-i-v-o-r-c-e, not so much.

So I say yes Ella, you deserve to be happy. You deserve a man that will treat you with respect. That is your equal. That will love you for everything that you are and aren’t. Because that’s all love really is. Someone that loves us for all we are and aren’t. Because they love us, they make us better. Because we love them, we make them better. I think you’ve found your prince. Let him become enchanted with you.

21 thoughts on “She Asked Me, Do I Deserve to be This Happy?

  1. When you ask the question do I deserve happiness isn’t it the same as thinking about the opposite? True love comes in many forms. What you give yourself in freedom you give yourself in love from that freedom. You make it about the journey of each step in love. Every extension of this love variably can be filled with happiness just don’t seek to find the world of opposites. What can be lived 20 plus years in pain can get 80 plus years of happiness.. Breathe in that as it is always coming to you!

  2. I feel strongly that “Ella” needs to take time for HERSELF! No man right now will be what she needs. She needs to sore alone…find her path….be with herself. I left my second ex and I vowed to not make any decisions for ONE YEAR…just be me…find me…and take care of my kids…I’m not sayen there wasn’t any “fun”…I had a ton of fun, get yer groove on girl…..but no man would want me…I was damaged, I wanted NO MAN…I hated them! I needed only me. And I found me…I found what I REALLY wanted in this life, I found what REALLY mattered, and it sure the hell was NOT a man. “Ella”, take time to be alone, with yourself….breath….answer to NOBODY!!!! Trust me, you will be amazed at what time does! Being “alone” by no means is being “lonely”.
    The most beautiful, wonderful man walked BACK in too my life, and we are now married…but, if he had just 6 months earlier….there’s no way in hell I was ready….It all falls into place, feel all those feelings…but don’t (as I like to say) “sit in your own shit” for too long….life is out there!!!!!!!!

    • She lived for a long time trying to please everyone. She’s learned that if she is happy, then those around her will be too. I think she’s found a good man to care for her. But she has learned that she is worth loving. I love her so much.

      Love, Renee

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