Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for the prompt this week. I encourage both kudos and criticisms. I’m tough. I can take it. Most of the time. It ain’t easy being a tender hearted potty mouth such as moi. Yes, the story is romantic. Sort of. I promised myself there’d be a death. No one dies, but a love does.
My brother Rory edited my story. He takes my words and makes them shine. If I get famous, I’m taking him with me. I promise.
Don’t like the genre, get bent. It’s what I do best.
Genre: Romance (with a side of broken heart)
…and the long-stemmed red tulips bent in the breeze like exotic women accepting homage.
Susan Fromberg Schaeffer, “The Madness of a Seduced Woman”
“You seduced me. Made me love you. Then you left.”
“Yes, I did. You fell. But that wasn’t my fault.”
“Of course it wasn’t your fault. Nothing ever is. You called me crazy. I’m far from it.”
“I said you ‘acted’ crazy.”
“Same thing.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“A woman seduced carries her own brand of madness.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not. David’s here. Now leave.”
He touches her cheek, he walks away. She picks up hammer and chisel. Metal strikes stone, dust flies. An image appears, of lovers, holding fast. She scrawls a lopsided heart. It is finished, so are they.
100 words
Renee Writes Here 
This is terrific writing!
Thank you my sweet Deana. It fell out of my head on the way to work this morning.
XOXOXOXOXO
This is nice Renee with an Awwwww at the end. Well done
Thanks my dear friend.
XOXOXOXOXXO
Heart breaking.
So true to life. well done!
Thank you my dear. Your comment means a lot to me.
Love, Renee
I have read a few of the articles on your website now, and I really like your style of blogging. I added it to my favorites web page list and will be checking back soon.
Sweetheart read away. If you send me a photo, I will be sure to write you a story. It’s kinda my thang. Thank you for adding me to your favorites. That tickles me to pieces. 😉
Love, Renee.
Touching story, love it…
Thanks my sweet friend. It’s sad when love dies. When the love isn’t returned. It’s a heartbreaker.
Love, Renee
As a person who fall in love way too quickly I really know it…
Oh my dear R. That is one of the sweetest comments. Sigh….
Love, Renee
Awww.. Such a sad ending to the story.. Love died, indeed! I like this line a lot “A woman seduced carries her own brand of madness.” And the last line is bittersweet, reflecting the joy of completion of her art and sorrow for the end of her relationship. Great story.. 🙂
Thank you for the great comment. Yes, a love sure did die. But there was another love kindled from it. I might have to write a longer story. Or I might let it lie. We’ll see. Can’t wait to read yours.
Kisses, Renee
What a way to end it. Well done.
Thank you my dear Sandra. It was a heartbreaker for sure. I’m glad you liked it.
Love, Renee
Lovely my friend!
Bisous,
Dawn
Thank you my sweet. Your quote inspired this little morsel.
Bisous,
Renee
Dear Renee,
Snappy dialogue. Right to the point. The video is a nice exclamation point.
Picky point…you need quotation marks at the beginning of the second line. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
Hello my dear Rochelle,
I corrected the error. Thanks for pointing it out. Other than that was the story good? Did it flow?
Fondly, Renee
Dear Renee,
Like I said…snappy dialogue. You told a a whole story with it and did it well. Sorry if I wasn’t clear.
Shalom,
Rochelle
It’s not that you weren’t clear my dear Rochelle. I’m a blonde and sometimes I get a little ditzy. I appreciate your positive comments. They mean a lot to me. Make me want to keep writing.
XOXOXOXXO
Nothing wrong with doing romance. It’s your thing. Good work!
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/3636/
Scott
Thank you my sweet. Glad you liked it. Honey, I don’t even read romance novels because they are too schmaltzy. How I ever ended up loving the genre I’ve no idea. I think it’s because I have a romantic heart. And I wanted to write stories that aren’t shitty. I’m going to check out your story now.
Love, Renee
Short but strong! x
Glad you liked it honey.
Love, Renee
had a boyfriend who was a lot of trouble as well: lying, cheating, using me as a misstress, a secret affair,…
Trouble when he walked in.
Now I’m laying on the cold hard ground.
indeed . I was. But I got back up again and met the love of my life.
And just like the woman in your story, I’m done with him.
Yup. It’s what you’ve got to do. Fall apart, get pissed, brush yourself and move on. Good for you darlin’.
XOXOXOXOXXO
“what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” 😉 x
Stand a little taller.
^^love that song 🙂
Me too. I’m such a young soul. Giggle.
^^x good!
((Sigh)) 🙂 beautiful!
Thank you Clark. You make this Sparkly Girls heart go pitter pat with your comments.
Hugs, Renee
‘a woman seduced carries her own brand of madness.” Heartbreaking story. Beautifully and poignantly written. 🙂 http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2013/02/01/fridayfictioneers-janus
Hi sweetheart. Thanks for the comment. It was a heartbreaker to write. I’m glad you liked it. Can’t wait to read yours.
Love, Renee
I don’t like the genre too, but I liked your story. Maybe because it is “with a side of broken heart”.
That’s how most of my romances are. There’s death or a broken heart. Maybe someday there’ll be a happy ending too. We’ll see.
Love, Renee
I enjoyed it – you said a lot in just a few lines. I liked the use of the heart at the end. It made it feel real.
Thank you my dear. It’s what I was going for. Wanted you to feel it. Wanted it to be real. You never know, maybe part of it was.
Love, Renee
Excellent piece,, very well crafted.
Thank you so much my dear. I appreciate your comment.
Hugs, Renee
this was very good
Thank you so much my dear. I’m glad you liked it.
Love, Renee
Renee, no one does painful breakups like you do 🙂 fantastic story
Dear kz,
I do believe it was meant I was meant to write. It must be because of my sad and romantic heart. Thank you for the sweet comment. I adore you.
Love, Renee
Dear RH,
I really enjoyed this little romance and the death of love it encapsulated in stone. Very well done.
Aloha,
Doug
My dear Doug I thank you for the kind comment. I never wanted to be a romance writer. I’m one of those women that abhors them. They are too saccharin. Oh well, maybe I was meant to write them to shake the world up a bit. 😉
Love, Renee
This is fantastic break-up. Seems like he tries to be don Juan, but in the end he had been caught to.
Yes! That’s it exactly my dear. Exactly. BTW if I was able to use more words, David would have been the one she was always waiting for. Not him. Maybe David will appear in another story. So glad you got it is Bjorn. Thank you!
Love, Renee
Can’t believe I just read it now. I don’t know why but it made me cry.
It made you cry because you’ve been there. At one point in your life, you’ve been there. You know how she feels.
Love, Nae
Oh! Stop making me cry!!!! I thought it was going to be a happy, sparkly post! Should have believed the prelude!
My love, when it comes to romance something has got to die. The character or the love. Promise the next story will be happy and sparkly for you.
God. I’ll kill you by sending you Shark photos on FB even if doing so will kill me to. Make it sparkly!
Although, I have to admit that I love this story a lot. SO much heart.
Oh girl you crack me up. NO SHARK PICTURES! I’ll pee all over myself in fear. 🙂
Happy story for my Luise next week. Happy, happy, happy.
Love, Nae
Hey, when you’re done, you’re done.
Yes that’s very true honey.
Love, Renee
Great! I’d like more stories to fall out of my head on the way to work – cool line, “A woman seduced carries her own brand of madness.” And a woman hurt…!?
A woman hurt? Why she carries a brand of madness as well. But it’s more of the fall down in a heap kind of madness. After that initial pain wears off, then she’s pissed. Her heart scars over and she is stronger. She moves on and learns to love but always has her guard up. That’s what a hurt woman does.
Love, Renee
Loved the back and forth in the dialogue. It really did tell the whole story. The ending was perfect.
Denmother
Thanks so much for the kind comment Denmother. I’m one of those that struggles with dialogue. I think I’m getting better at it though.
Love, Renee
Renee, I loved the dialogue. Great job!
Thank you so much. One of my writer friends tells me I don’t use dialogue enough. I think I did pretty damn good with it this week. 🙂
Love, Renee
What an arrogant jerk! (That is, what a good job you did of showing us his personality.) I’m a little surprised, though relieved for her sake, that she settled for taking revenge on the statue.
Hi there sweetheart. I’m glad you got the message. But truth be told my character loved him anyway. She did. It took her a long time to realize what had happened to her. She had someone else in her life. Maybe that person came into her life because of what “he” did. He most definitely made her stronger and more sure of herself.
Love, Renee
Enjoyed this very much.
Thank you Shirley, from the bottom of my heart. I do appreciate the kind comment. I kind of enjoyed writing it. Wink, wink.
Love, Renee
I need more of this!! I’ve been really getting into romantic fiction lately.. you are a great writer!! I will be back!! I’m honored to have you on Tryst!! ~jen
Hi hon,
Thank you for the compliment. I love your work too. I promise to keep writing, if you keep reading. I’ll keep reading you also. There’s all kinds of crazy stuff here. Even erotica. Giggle. Glad you’re here.
Love, Renee
Thank you so much for blog it was a very interesting to read.
There are other stories that are more interesting. Take a look around.
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