I finally realized that that they don’t live at home anymore…

Today I am amazed at the things our children have done and their wide range of interests.  They are all living their lives and not the ones I would have planned for them.  But I have learned that their lives are theirs, not mine, and in living their own lives they have given me experiences and an education I would never have had if I’d been fool enough to make them do what I thought they should do. Bernie Siegel

I talked to Meggie a few weeks ago and told her that I have finally realized that she doesn’t live with us anymore. She said plainly, Mom I haven’t lived with you for three years! I know, I told her, I can tell because I have 25 bottles of nail polish. I know where my tweezers are; my makeup drawer and bag are overflowing with all my stuff. That I bought! I don’t have to scurry upstairs to the room that used to be hers and search through garbage, hand-written notes, dirty laundry, dirty dishes, bitching the entire time about where the fuck my tweezers went. And then having her bitch back at me that she didn’t have them. In the course of trying to find my tweezers, I’d find my boots, my pajama pants, more nail polish and some makeup I thought I’d lost the month before.

Don’t let me ge started about the fights we would have every damn morning while getting ready for school and work. The endless showers when she would tell me she was conditioning her gorgeous hair for 45 minutes! I actually did yank her out of the shower a couple of times. There were mornings when Roger would come check the bathroom to see if there was blood on the walls. We girls are a bit passionate when we argue, or verbalize constructively with swear words…..

Adam Boy moved out last December. In some ways I feel like I’ve lost my BFF that I can act like a 12 year old boy with. Seriously.  I don’t know what it is about adolescent boy humor that I am so enamored with. There is something that makes me laugh hysterically about boobs, poop, farts, running around naked, and so on. Adam and I just get each other’s humor. He and his friends would come over and watch Family Guy marathons, stupid movies like Anchorman and American Pie. Too many others to name. It was cool that he included me. He had his issues when he lived at home. It’s not like he was an angel. He sometimes worried me to death.

I love living with Roger Darling now. We’ve never suffered what other families call Empty Nest Syndrome. Maybe it’s because Rog and I have been so busy building our new healthy life. Maybe we haven’t missed them that much. That’s really not true though. We miss them every day. Some days I wish that I couldn’t find my nail polish, my tweezers, eyeliner, my copy of Anchorman, or season 1 of Family Guy on DVD. Some days I just wish they’d come home with all their friends. Play board games in the living room, drink too much, and listen to one of my “other” sons, Matthew play guitar. Some days I really wish for that. So Meg and Adam, please make it a point to come home once in awhile to see your mom and dad. Oh and bring my other children too. Tell Matthew to bring his guitar. We’ll sing a little Alive with the Glory of Love in the living room….

10 thoughts on “I finally realized that that they don’t live at home anymore…

    • It really is quite nice Maggie. Roger and I had kids so soon after we got married that we didn’t have time to be a couple. We love being parents though. I tell you it’s nice rediscovering the reasons why I married him.

    • It definitely has had it’s moments. There’s heartbreak of course but mostly there is love and respect. I liked the fact that the kids brought their friends home all the time and I grew to love them too.

      • I don’t know if I’m great. I just try to be as weird as my kids. If not weirder. No really, we just made sure to communicate with our kids. It’s super important to do so. And yes please read Cat she’s wonderful. Very inspirational.

  1. This hit home! It took me forever to get used to my empty nest. My kids were so much fun to be around. Slowly, I’ve learned that there are benefits to having them just stop by for visits. Nothing gets broken or goes missing and the grocery bill’s been cut in half. I still sometimes miss the sounds of their laughter, their fighting and their friends, but it passes. Plus, I bought a puppy to replace them, which really helps. 🙂

  2. Moonbeam I don’t think there’s anything a new puppy can’t fix. I heart them! Isn’t it fun to be around your kids now? I know there’s nothing like it. I get to be silly and have fun. Still give good advice when necessary. The relationship has a whole new dynamic. Which I think is kinda groovy.

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